I had read this longtime back, i revisit this topic too often because i am now home in terms of finding what i want to do.
To find it is one thing, doing it is another, not that we lack abilities to perform or do the thing, as the essay also points out, there are too many things that may help us forget what we were set out to do and instead lead us astray, make us do things which we aren’t good at, or simply, the situations control our controls.

So we are going to get good at something, as we grow old, we will stop doing few things which we don’t like, because we can afford to not do them, and we keep doing things, well, which are not exactly what we wanted to do, but it is something better(we think, may be by comparing it with things others are doing) than more things which we don’t like. I always say this- One has to decide what one wants, that thing may not be a target, even randomness exists because it may be trying to  increase itself, so if one wants it, we have to know it and then try to take it.

I bring this up because doing what one wants is closely related to what one will do to achieve those “wants”. Overwhelming the options and the exposures- so they are, that is why it is very risky if we start searching for what we want. Chances are that we want many things in life, and we try to take each thing at a time, prioritizing things, often, we seek pleasures like sitting around watching TV, having sex, touring a nice place, and in order to get these things, we do lot of things we dont want or we don’t like/love to do. But isn’t that what life is made up of? you will ask. Well, i believe, if you’re happy (not orgasmic so to speak, but say close to how children are happy, they dont know much, but then they dont need to know much), you’re happy, we will stop right there. So, if you’re already high on life, for whatever reasons, there are more chances that you wouldn’t ask yourself this question(“What do i want?”).

So how does one know what to like, or what one already likes. I think its important to look at our map, staying a bit sceptical and also un-judgemental, we will know what we can do well or what we are capable of doing well, saying that however, it doesnt necessarily mean that we will like to do something most of the times just because we are good at it, but there is a good chance that the reason we are good at something is because we love it and we have already spend time and effort doing that. Why i said that this process can be risky and dangerous because while evaluating all the choices, we may get very cynical and may end up being very mechanical and not give chance to simple things in life. A very close friend of mine doesn’t do a particular thing because the reasons that he can come up for not doing a particular thing are always more than reasons for doing something. Unfortunately, simulations is life are far away from reality, even though we may think about an event happening in a particular manner(and we are right in the sense that we know what would be), still, the actual event would be very different and may have many leads, that is why we have to take that chance, or lot of times, we should seek opinions from those who matter to us (and sometimes because their opinions also matter).

But one really does want to know it(what we like), also know that self-deception is just a step away. It is particularly very difficult because you will see people around you who are above the “above the average line of happiness”, and really will pretend that they really like what they are doing(fact is they never tried to find it out) and usually associate themselves with pride and other societal “picks”. You cannot questions ther lives, neither you should, i always believe it is better to compete with oneself than facing the wrong competition.

Even if one finds what one likes very late(whatever you may think late is) in life, there’s  no harm because one will see that it needs lot of work and enthusiasm to do that, and things which we think will stop us from doing that thing will not come in the way. I do not mean to say that you’ll leave everything at that time and start your own thing, but such is life, life finds it way, life always finds its way.