Yesterday, I spilled water over my laptop. Right now I am making love to her, but I cannot explain how I felt yesterday. I spilled so much water over her body; as much water with which people crossing a desert can spilled-water-fuck with it. I forgive myself for being a misfit, but the event was beyond reasoning. I felt sad, as if some bitch had nailed me with a 12 inch strap-on. I felt weak, which is small word; I felt hypothermic and frostbitten. For few moments before turning her On (to find out that I couldn’t kiss her), I had no clue about how my life after without-laptop would be. Even the thoughts of it sent shivers down my ass. Why did the water follow my darling? — Convergent evolution? I am trying to find as many reasons as possible to believe Darwin, but, time and again, and again, things like these happen, and I just want to be an early man again.

I turned her upside down, she must have thought that I am trying out new techniques, but she wouldn’t realize what happened until so and so. I gave a creak, and water oozed out of her body like water squirting out from a crevice in the rock adjacent to a hot spring. At that moment, I had to be practical, I simply couldn’t have left her alone and be alone myself to moan about the what-could-be-a-loss.

I had to deprive her of the Air (power supply), water (DSL cable), “that is what another bitch said”, I whispered to her. I stayed away from her like a husband stays away from his wife (vice versa I guess) during the period before Dasara. Thoughts of living with her dead body lumbered more and more all over me. Thoughts of having another one, perhaps, filled me with ever more remorse. I did not know how to react, as if I had asked a guy “Wassup?”And he would reply “My dick is up”. To add insult to injury, my niece said “Yes, chess, you wanna play chess?” What can I do?

The carnage has simmered down (both inside and outside my mind), I can feel her body once again, and I feel the current inside my body as I type away the last few words of the first post after the insurgence. Thanks to the nonexistent god for not making me swim in a flotsam of Enter keys, function keys, and pieces of the shattered me. I accept that I had cracked, just like had cracked few years back when she had said “Ajay, I like someone else”. I am sorry my darling for what I did, but trust me it wasn’t freewill by any chance, and neither am I trading my infliction gag with the world out there, nor trying to make light out of my own plight. I hold my wits now, but it was difficult, really difficult time for me, I was trapped in crossfire of different lives laughing at me once, I am just trying to calm down their influence, so please don’t take me wrong. I swear I still love you as much as I used to when I first met you, I still do…and I will, forever…