…is up for discussion these days. I am not an actor or a famous personality, but it seems my notorious mind, which always, reassuringly, thinks that I am on a right track finds ways to get into disruptions of energy (which I attribute to life and its experience). But time and again, I come back to myself, finding myself inquiring about myself more than I ever previously did. What I am trying to achieve by writing this blog is one of things I have always wanted to know. In the beginning I wrote because it was a thrill–something fresh and new that we can pursue with passion does that to us. Being subject to the curse of identity, I stopped writing (although various other commitments (or no commitment) occupied my time). Something I don’t enjoy is having an identity crisis, it is directly related to my sense of perception of what I want and what I am doing with my life.
And that is what brings me here again. I ask myself again, am I a byproduct yet again? Did I not find my problem already? And am I finding presenting my failure to act on my optimal solution good enough to hide from myself. I had my battles with procrastination, I had battles with “inner being”, I battled the Egos, and I ask myself again–what is it this time? Do you feel the same? So yet again, after looking for clues and trying to catch the signals, I found out that the answer was a curse, a curse that we carry with ourselves–it is us, really! It wasn’t particularly obvious in the beginning, but as I said, the hardware itself is the problem. I am not trying to blame our design (or romanticism involved in life), but I am trying to gather facts that lead me to believe that we all inherently seem to impress and attract allies which tend to increase the subversion of our beliefs (rather than reinforcing them).
Just for e.g.
–Why don’t we write when countless among us want to get published one day?
–Why do we find it so difficult to contribute $5 to Wikipedia when we truly want to and believe in the power (I know an Extra Beer won’t be bad!).
–Are we really trying to get to the point where we want to OR are we content with just the impression that we generate by JUST ‘trying’ to get to that point?
–I have read and re-written lots of self help techniques, why am I not following them as fervently as I used to? (Am I doing something like that right now instead of trying to solve my problems?)
–Do we really want to help other people or do we do optimal charity, just so that so we ‘earn the right’ to be a little more selfish.
Do you notice what is common point in the above list? Is that it? We know but we can’t act? What does it mean? Does it mean that we don’t rEALLY want the things that we want for ourselves? Are we going to do something today which is going to add to our “larger goal” (if there is one)? How do you wind up all the momentum of daily life and take the larger goal seriously? Any suggestions? Have you had such identity issues which you have dealt with successfully? Can you please leave the link to the software fix?
