I used to believe in this theory that other people know me better, than myself, but the notion felt oxymoronic, cause i believed that nobody really knows what iam thinking(really), so how can they know about me. They will know more, if i am more honest to them, isnt it? Even when we strive for better inter-personal relationships, arent we looking for someone who knows more about us than we know? May be not, But no matter what hypothesis we may present to support either of the views, it seems that other people are certainly at a better position to predict our actions.
Our views about ourselves are most biased, most often because over-rate our analysis all the time, because some of us like to think that we are complex(more than we actually are), and ofcourse, if everything is subjective than why not be a subject of ourselves than be bothered about whatever truth others know about us. Well, we would often take listen to others when we are lost, when we think we’re not doing well, when we have nothing to lose, when we are not afraid of what others have to say about us, because we have lost bigtime already, So, we are up for it, but then again, we regress, when our biases have enough ground to stand tall, again, thats that about that.
Inspite of the fact that others dont have access to our inner cauldrons, the biases others have in when making a decision for us is less than our biases, sometimes, even made to think that a distant and “wise” acquaintance will be in a better position to guide our decision than someone who knows us comparatively more. Also, your relationship with a close “friend” may is subject to change if you dont agree or follow some adivce he/she has to offer, but if the “aquaintanship” isnt(affected), which usually shoudnt, then that makes even a stronger case. So am i signalling that we should go ahead and trust other choices when we are in a confusion? Certainly aint a bad idea if your rationality is not showing the way.
If we really think ourselves to be more different than others(than we are actually), and we really want to know ourselves, than question is how much do we want to know about ourselves? Does one want to know about oneself at the cost of happiness? What is the price we are ready to pay? not much i guess.
Theres a exception though, women tend to give lot of importance to the advice of their “friends”, infact are very active in this aspect, from what i have seen higher percentage of them will do what the “poll” results will tell them to do, Democracy, it is after all, but the good and kind kings lose while world gives in to this ever so stupid concept of democracy, a hypocrisy really, nothing else.
Virtual friends are even a better options, “low” of “averages”, just a “tweak” is what we may need, just for sometime. Ask yourself what would a average person do in a particular situation, then compare it with what you were set out to do (inspite of the confusion), surely would know a little bit, about decisions, about why’s, about what’s, about how’s, about “us’es”.
