The what-if scenarios in the head are the major hindrances in my (I guess for others too) head. Giving reality a chance is less than a responsibility that my brain assumes. Even though the results are never as close in reality, the what-if-results are wrong almost all the times, yet, our heads choose that one-time sliding-over-the-roller-in-the-park incident as what-if-result.

What if we hadn’t chosen such and such thing? Will our lives be the same? Would the necessary conditions that were fulfilled to reach the present state been different? “Oh, I am really liking the present consequential events, every thing happens for the good, thank god it is like that more often than what I think would might be or might have been”.

A classic quarter-life-crisis case: “That girl is really hot!! It seems there’s something more to her than just the “hotness”, she might be the angel that I am searching for all this while, or is she? Am I? What if she already is hooked up, what about her past? What does she think? What if she embarrasses me in front of “real” audience? Oh , but I ain’t doing anything “Non-Jesus”, I am 22, liking a girl for what she looks like and asking her out shouldn’t be a crime. No!! What if…”

Those what-if scenarios are in-fact good; they make us choose something which we think is better. That is how the elimination happens, isn’t it? But how good those eliminations are? How often do they prove to be right out-of-the-mind? Mere exposure effects? More often there are so many questions and if one game-plan is to answer all the what-ifs, we all know what happens in the end. Point is if we lose touch with what is really happening and screw the things around us in the process of obsession with what-ifs—unreached-yet-strongly stated!!

Real world examples are around us; it is no wonder that most guys who do well with women play sports and spend less time with books (don’t stop me from generalizing), because they actually step out. Going no further than myself, I recall my patterns, and I have no qualms in admitting that I read only 15 books in the time when you know..

Not to say that nobody who is good with women reads or writes, but it just is something that we can see around us. Another one—think about the time when you really used to be good in sports or atleast tried to be so, what do u remember? The movie “Goal” where people think a lot? Doesn’t work for sure.

How many times do we people telling us—“don’t think too much”. It’s unfair to say that people who think too much should not do so. People who think more will succeed more in the fields of science, mostly, if they pursue science that is. But the number of what-ifs will always be more for people who think more, and the number of things that have not reached result stage will always be more, basically leaving room for more in the mind. The average line of happiness requires less number of what-ifs, and that is something that some people do in a matter-of-fact ways.

So the point is to cut-down the noise, and to do without all the million predictions about something, 90% of which is mostly crap. How to avoid “if only things had been different”? Well, they are again results of what-ifs. I don’t think meditation will do the trick for you, it’s about going for it, thinking about the next day instead of next year, about pleasing your woman/man than dreaming about the “one”, talking about the subject instead of sub; I mean just go man/woman!!

EDIT: There’s a flip side to think about, there is a little evidence in E.P, which say that we are in-fact doing it right. May be asking a girl right is not our thing, which we compensate somewhere else by doing something else better. Forgive me for my solecisms, Argh!